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THE ADVENTURES OF SIR HILLDO!!! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
WHO WANTS TO SEX SIR HILLDO??!

[ GRACE | KITTY KITTY ]
[ ORCS!!! ONOES | PONY TIME!! ]

A valentines day gift from Sir Hilldo [Feb. 13th, 2009|11:20 am]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
[Tags|, ]

Well, I don't think I've posted anything in this community yet this year...but I have one for the archives. A short and sweet Sir Hilldo episode, with the main character being none other than kitty kitty. This was written for a "kiss meme" I believe...you'll understand by the end

Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it!Collapse )

And in case you've missed any of the previous 7 parts of the story...here are links to them all so go read them if you haven't!!!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Link29 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

Part 7! [Oct. 27th, 2008|12:01 am]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
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As promised, to hopefully make everyones monday (including mine) better, it's part 7. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it. :O

Penis Text Adventures, Part VII
Rating: R for naked pictures of the authors contained within, or just general filth like the other 6 parts...
Characters: More Elves, Grace, Cockblocking Cat, Mystery Mage, The Horse, and a side of pirates and soldiers too.

Summary: In which Sir Hilldo plays in the bath tub, attempts to get his freak on, looks for a boat and hopes really hard that a pig roast is occurring.

You check in one of your many pockets, and find a pairCollapse )

As always feel free to send baked goods to us! Also, the community could probably use a proper icon if someone felt so inclined to make one that would be delicious. :)
Link6 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

WATCH THIS SPACE... [Oct. 22nd, 2008|01:29 pm]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

first_seventhe
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...because the newest episode of Sir Hilldo will be posted on Monday!

Here's a teaser, to keep you interested...

Nakedness!Collapse )

More of this next week, so stay tuned! Tell your friends! Donate baked goods to the Needy Sir Hilldo Authors' Fund!!
Link12 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

Part 6! [Sep. 21st, 2008|11:17 pm]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
[Tags|, , ]

Yeah, it's about damn time. Finally something that isn't a repost! Anyway, I shouldn't need to lead into this one, nor should I have to put pictures of food on here to get your attention either (doesn't mean I won't though) so without further delay...

Penis Text Adventures, Part VI
Rating: R for profanity and suggestive themes?
Characters: Grace, A Random Elf, Some Spiders, Gay Ogres, The Pink Fur Coat...oh and Sir Hilldo is in there somewhere too.

Summary: In which the adventure continues...Lady Grace has to save the day, rescuing Sir Hilldo from the clutches of a fashion nightmare. There may also be Golden Showers and Ogre Gay bars too.

Sir Hilldo gives you a strange look, but nods, and pours some of the lube down into the hole.Collapse )


Hope this makes monday a bit more tolerable for everyone. :)
Link33 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

Part 5 [Sep. 15th, 2008|12:43 pm]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
[Tags|, ]

Sev and I have been done with Part 6 for a good few weeks now, but in typical Sir Hilldo fashion we couldn't possibly post it in any kind of timely fashion. Go us. But of course before we can put out part 6, Part 5 has to see the light of day again. So read it, enjoy it, and look for part 6 next week Unless there is a lot of whining and crying for it this week ;)

Penis Text Adventures, Part V
Rating: R for profanity and suggestive themes?
Characters: Sir Hilldo, Grace, Kitty Kitty, the pony horse, some cute fucking unicorns, some (actually) fucking orcs, a horny wizard, and a menacingly ugly pink fur coat.

Summary: In which our hero and heroine move forward with their quest, Kitty Kitty becomes even more useful, a wizard hits on Grace, and we almost get assassinated!
Originally Posted:2/2/08, Like half a fucking year ago, click here for ancient history!

Being an expert liar yourself, you know what bullshit sounds like. After all, that used to be half of what came out of your mouth, unless you were around a woman you were trying to bang, at which point it was more like 98%. You'd like to think you are more honest now though, the whole respectable knight gig and all.Collapse )

And in case this post didn't get your attention on your very busy friend list...

Link2 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

Part 4 and News! [Aug. 26th, 2008|09:20 am]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
[Tags|, ]

Ok, so we haven't exactly been real good about posting the old parts of the story on any kind of regular basis. This was because we didn't have anything currently in the works. However, that has changed as we are currently underway with part 6. Who knows when we'll actually finish it...but at least we've started it!

Anyway, here is part 4.

Penis Text Adventures, Part IV
Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, Grace, Kitty Kitty, orcs, an ogre, and an awkward manifestation of herpes

Summary: In which things actually happen, but still manage to be funny, at least to us. Secrets about Grace are revealed! Treasure is found! Kitty Kitty eats everything in sight! JELLO PUDDING POPS
Originally Posted: 1/7/08...definitely check out the original post as there is a fun Poll you can take! Click here, home skillet!

Orc Balls Make You Breathe FireCollapse )

I'm also surprised there is not ONE person on LJ who also has the interest of "Hot Girls Doing Me".
LinkSEX SIR HILLDO

Special Otakon News!!! [Aug. 6th, 2008|12:42 am]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
In very exciting news, both Sir Hilldo and Mutant Fug Man Jeans (Aka, Sev) will be appearing at Otakon this weekend. Ok, actually only Sev will be AT Otakon, but I'll be around in the general area of Otakon. So ladies, put on your slutty ms. pac-man outfits and come find us. We'll be glad to sign autographs on supple parts of your body, or give you herpes a keepsake to remember Otakon 2008.

In other less exciting news, no new Sir Hilldo stories as of yet. If you want more, I suggest poking Sev with sticks or baking us cakes (or getting us both better jobs that require less work). These will both encourage us I'm sure. :)
Link43 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

Part 3 [Apr. 16th, 2008|02:57 pm]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
[Tags|, ]

Sev and I were talking a couple weeks ago about when we were actually going to have time to write the next new part to Sir Hilldo. This basically turned into both of us whining about how busy work had been, and went something like this...

Sev: I'm busy!
Me: Me too! Want to make out?
Sev: Ok! Can I bake a cake for you afterwards too?
Me: Well, ok.

We'll get to part six eventually, but for now here's a repost of good ol part 3. Enjoy!

Penis Text Adventures, Part III
Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, some shitty orcs, a mysterious girl, a surprisingly cute pet, and drunks!

Summary: In which a plot takes over and all of you invariably get bored and tell us to STFU and/or go back to being funny. Sir Hilldo defends his slut maiden's honor, amuses the townsfolk, and gets a kitty!
Originally Posted: 1/2/2008, no link to original cause someone put it in a locked post. :P

The Shield of +1 to HerpesCollapse )
Link2 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

Part 2 [Mar. 17th, 2008|08:58 am]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

hilldo
[Tags|]

Continuing on with re-posting the originals... since everyone needs something good to read on a monday morning!

So here's Part 2

Rating: Well, PG-13 or R, depending on how you rate curse words and mentions of buttsex
Characters: Sir Hilldo, some shitty orcs, a mysterious girl, and a huge ass ogre

Summary: In which things actually happen and a plot appears! Fireballs, jewels, and battle! Oh, and there might have been some cucumber rape.
Originally Posted: 11/06/2007, Click to Link to Original Post

Yes, there's moreCollapse )

And if you haven't already, check out the random fan art post for some awful wonderful MS Paint Goodness.
LinkSEX SIR HILLDO

SIR HILLDO FANART EXTRAVAGANZA [Mar. 7th, 2008|02:03 pm]
The Text Adventures of Sir Hilldo!

first_seventhe
THE GOAL: to make awesome fanart for Sir Hilldo
THE RULES: MS Paint only, unless you REEEALLLLY need to use something else
THE BLAME: this is jennyclarinet's fault

THE EXAMPLECollapse )

SEE IF YOU CAN BEAT THAT.
Link10 wenches!|SEX SIR HILLDO

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